This week since I was camping and did not have wifi, So I'm a lil late. I apologize :)
Anyways. This weeks chapter is called "What Are You Afraid of?".
Well before we even start the chapter, I can say that I have had plenty of fears in my life. Too many to really count. Some that are normal, some not so normal, some manageable, some not so manageable. I'm sure everybody out there has at least one thing that they are extremely afraid of. I'm not afraid to admit that one of my worst struggles has been social anxiety. If I were to just sit here pray to God and ask for boldness, honestly, I would be scared to death. I feel the exact same way Chan does when he is writing this section. He says writing this book makes him nervous because he doesn't know how people will respond and such. I would be lying if I said that I never got nervous about what I was writing on my blog or second guessed things that I wanted to put in here because of how it may look. Fear is natural, but it is true that we shouldn't live in fear. When we are called by Christ to give everything up for Him, He is also talking about our fears. I don't know what's scarier, actual fears or the fear of giving them up. We become so used to being afraid all the time that we just don't know what to do when we aren't afraid.
Here in the book Chan addresses some of the fears that Christians go through including "What if God doesn't come through?", "What if I pray for the Holy Spirit and nothing happens?", and "If nothing happens, does that mean God failed?" For me, I don't tend to ask God to do things when I pray. Prayer is controversial across the many denominations anyways. I don't usually pray for miracles or healing for myself. So the fear of "What if God doesn't come through?" doesn't apply to me...or so I thought. Maybe if the deeper reason for not praying for miracles Is because I'm afraid God won't come through. So am I just supposed to believe that everything I pray for will happen? I fall into Chan's next category of those who try to "cover for God" by praying for less, asking for less, expecting less, and then being satisfied because we are afraid to ask for me. I believe that this is true for me. At the same time God doesn't need to be convinced that something is a good idea. God is more than willing to give us gifts. We just need to let go of our fears and ask Him for it. I didn't ask for my gifts, and at first I didn't think it was a good idea. Obviously God has a better plan for all of us than what we plan for ourselves. We need to "pray confidently for what God has promised." and "Don't put your hope in what others promise or what you've been told you'll 'get' if you are a 'good Christian'". We can't focus on the gifts, but place all our focus on God alone. Basically it's a trust thing. Do you actually trust God? Can you look God in the eye and confidently say that you trust Him? If you're like me you probably doubt that you can.
"Do I even want this?" If we aren't sitting here worrying that God won't come through, we're probably worrying that He will. "What if God asks you to go somewhere or do something that's uncomfortable?" Are we actually willing to follow God's plans? A friend has said to me before that they can feel God's pull to do something, but they struggle with actually doing it. It can be awkward or nerve-racking. It may be embarrassing or you don't feel like it's the right timing. Sometimes it just depends on the circumstance. I know before that I've felt God calling me to do something or say something to someone and just before I go along with it I freak out. There's an unknown list of possibilities that this situation could take a turn and come back to haunt me. In the end, when I go through with what God has asked, I feel better and nothing bad comes of it; if I don't, I feel uneasy, because I know I should have done the right thing.
"The whole idea of giving up control (or the delusion of it) is terrifying, isn't it?" Yes it is. Control is something that everybody feels like they need to have in their lives. If that feeling goes away, and you feel like you don't have control over any aspect of your life, in my experience, things don't go so well for you. In actuality, we aren't in control of anything, ever. God has control over our whole existence, but we delude ourselves into believing that it's us that are in power. The thought of letting go of the control is terrifying, even though the control doesn't actually exist. The Spirit is meant to lead us, to guide us down the right path. Sometimes we just can't give up the paths we have decided upon, because giving the control to something we can't even see is beyond our comprehension. In the process of giving up control to the Spirit, we can lose our selfishness, pride, and fear. Ultimately good things, right? Then why is it so painful to go through that transition? Sin. The Spirit is literally ripping the sin out of us, and it's painful. That's why we do things bad that we know we shouldn't. It is not the intention of the Spirit to hurt us. So let go of the fear. Once you let go of the fear, then you can let go of the control, and the Spirit can lead you where you are supposed to go.
"Is My Reputation in the Way?" What a question. In our society, appearance is everything. We care about what others think of us. Has there been a time in your life where you really wanted to raise your hands during worship or you wanted to join the altar call, but were afraid to do so because of other people's opinions? For me, I can say yes. It could be even simpler, like bringing your Bible where you are going or putting a Bible verse as your facebook status. We don't want people to feel like we are shoving Jesus down their throats. We are afraid that our past will get in the way of the future, or that our emotions will cloud our judgement, and that ultimately if something bad happens that it's our fault. But, we can't let other people's opinions stop us from doing what we feel is right. The only perception of our lives that actually matters is Jesus'. When we get wrapped up in our physical appearance, our spiritual reputation, our "coolness", and our acceptance, we are too focused on this world's opinion and not God's. In God's eyes we are all "cool kids" and popular. But, trying to change our mindset on this is not easy.
Concerns, questions, comments? You know where to find me :)
Next week's post will be on Sunday. See ya then :)
No comments:
Post a Comment