Well today, being the last day in May, I thought I should write a blogpost to celebrate the fact that May is practically over. This post is pretty much going to be what happened in my life today so if you don't want to read it I don't care lol this is what you get.
Today began with my getting up off of my floor nest/sleeping place realizing how so sore I am from cleaning yesterday. I don't mind cleaning. Some days I even love cleaning, but I hate that after I'm always in pain and worn out. This makes me not want to do anything for the entire next day to balance everything out. I then ate my obligatory meal and waited out the dizziness that usually comes at that time by reading a blog of my internet icon, Hayley G Hoover. I love her openness in her blogs and her vlogs. I started watching her videos several years ago and was clueless that she had a blog until yesterday. She talks about everything from depression to her love of Harry Potter and anything in between. Definitely refreshing.
Later, I started cleaning out my car. If my car was a human it would be getting it's own license right about now. That's how old it is. It's also quite gross, because the previous owner was a little old lady and probably hadn't cleaned it the whole time. I made the effort that she did not and spent over an hour wiping down the dashboard, all the knobs and such, the cup-holders and console, and anything not carpet in the front of the car. I feel that my goal of making it so that I and/or an OCD person would not cringe when touching anything inside my car. On this journey into the dirt, I made a few pleasant discoveries. In the glove compartment, I found a clip for sunglasses (unnecessary for me) and a map of Indiana from the '70s. I also now have a "Call the Police" neon yellow sign for my window if I ever get into "trouble" -as stated by said sign. The original buyer of the car felt that the CD player was not necessary so I only have cassette capabilities. In the center console I discovered that the little old lady and I have similar tastes: classical music and Phantom of the Opera. I believe that these cassettes will get much use from me, along with any kids' Jesus music cassettes I can find from my childhood days. Or you know I could listen to the radio, but who does that when you have Jesus, Debussey, and Sarah Brightman? Still needs a lot of vacuuming, and the check engine/battery lights scare me. But, for a car it's got character. Needs a name though. I'm feeling something older like Gertrude or Beatrice, Suggestions?
We'll see what happens tonight. Dinner with the parents to come. After, I have no idea. I would like to imagine me drinking some hot liquid with a heating pad on my back, writing something profound. But we'll see. More later :)
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Bucket List...well sort of
Hmm...thinking...thinking...thinking...seems to be all I do at the moment.
So today my thoughts were about things that I've always wanted to accomplish but feel like I never will, or something along those lines. And, then I thought I would share them on the blog for kicks and giggles. To keep this on a positive note, I'm going to include a way I can achieve each item in the future. I'm going to call these positive notes "happy endings".
1. Write a Book- I've always wanted to write a book. For as long as I can remember I've been an avid reader, but I've never considered myself a good writer. I used to try to keep journals, thinking that someday I would put them in a book. I also started and stopped writing many fiction novels. Sometimes I feel like my life is so ridiculous it should be a book lol. I would love to eventually have a book, doesn't even have to be published, but I highly doubt this will ever happen. Happy Ending- Well this blog is a good step in the right direction. But, I'll try to continue progress on my writing in my computer documents. After a while, I'm sure that I'll have enough to consider it a "book". Also I'll try this year to get involved in NaNoWriMo or "National Novel Writing Month".
2. Be coordinated- This is one that I'm sure is not going to happen, but a girl can dream. I hated being the one in school gym classes who couldn't do any of the sports or even not be a klutz. I have a lot of bad memories that are caused by my not being coordinated, including several falls, one being head-first down a flight of stairs in front of a portion of the student body. Memories also include times when I didn't participate in things because I didn't feel like I could or wouldn't let myself do things. Happy Ending- Focus on the things I can do. I'm pretty good at Dance Dance Revolution, although I'm quite rusty. I can roller skate which seems completely out of place. Most people who are coordinated can't roller skate. I've also always wanted and probably could play softball. Maybe someday, I'll join the church team.
3. Have my memory pay off- One thing people know about me either because they've noticed or heard me complain about is my lame memory. I can remember stupid things that are unimportant, but can't remember things I'm supposed to. I was yelled at a lot when I was younger because I was constantly "forgetting" things, and apparently that wasn't a good enough excuse. But, honestly that was the truth. I forget things all the time. I lose words, names, dates, and time sequences. I can't remember who all was with me or who said what. My past is constantly fading from my memory, and some memories I do have either don't make sense or didn't happen according to my parents. It gets worse during school times because I'm always having to remember things for classes and homework etc, so other things slip out faster. I tend to have a "day limit". I can remember in detail things that happened up to 7 days after they happen, but I have to wait a couple days before I can remember time sequencing. It's weird but it's life. I've always wanted for my memory of something that happened to be crucial, because it would cancel out all the things I've forgotten. Happy Ending- Writing in journals helps keep things straight, and being in class helps too because it gives schedule to my life. I've been trying to take pictures more because it helps bring memories back easier. Since the whole empath thing started I can now focus on putting emotions to my memories to make it easier as well. Focus on what I'm good at remembering, such as other people's quirks, emotions, facts, etc. I'm also great at memorizing things.
4. Be less self-conscious- I've been self-conscious and had social anxiety since I was 6. I have many memories associated with this that were just unnecessary. I want to not have to worry about how I look to other people and how other people think of me. I want to just do something for me and not care. Less inhibited life style. Do something I would never do and not think twice because "I'll look stupid". Say what I think. Have an opinion. It really hurts when someone asks you what the craziest thing you have ever done was and you don't have one to give them. Happy Ending- I'm working on this. I've gotten so much better than I used to be about saying what I think. I'm even so much better at public speaking, to the point where I would almost rather give a speech than write a paper. How scary is that? I've also started doing things out of my character to try and help this along. I'm writing this blog for one. I've had several private blogs, but a public one is a different story. I'm also going to try and sing on the worship team. Maybe that will help me get used to being on stage so Interpreting won't be as hard.
This is what I've got so far. Hopefully more to come.
So today my thoughts were about things that I've always wanted to accomplish but feel like I never will, or something along those lines. And, then I thought I would share them on the blog for kicks and giggles. To keep this on a positive note, I'm going to include a way I can achieve each item in the future. I'm going to call these positive notes "happy endings".
1. Write a Book- I've always wanted to write a book. For as long as I can remember I've been an avid reader, but I've never considered myself a good writer. I used to try to keep journals, thinking that someday I would put them in a book. I also started and stopped writing many fiction novels. Sometimes I feel like my life is so ridiculous it should be a book lol. I would love to eventually have a book, doesn't even have to be published, but I highly doubt this will ever happen. Happy Ending- Well this blog is a good step in the right direction. But, I'll try to continue progress on my writing in my computer documents. After a while, I'm sure that I'll have enough to consider it a "book". Also I'll try this year to get involved in NaNoWriMo or "National Novel Writing Month".
2. Be coordinated- This is one that I'm sure is not going to happen, but a girl can dream. I hated being the one in school gym classes who couldn't do any of the sports or even not be a klutz. I have a lot of bad memories that are caused by my not being coordinated, including several falls, one being head-first down a flight of stairs in front of a portion of the student body. Memories also include times when I didn't participate in things because I didn't feel like I could or wouldn't let myself do things. Happy Ending- Focus on the things I can do. I'm pretty good at Dance Dance Revolution, although I'm quite rusty. I can roller skate which seems completely out of place. Most people who are coordinated can't roller skate. I've also always wanted and probably could play softball. Maybe someday, I'll join the church team.
3. Have my memory pay off- One thing people know about me either because they've noticed or heard me complain about is my lame memory. I can remember stupid things that are unimportant, but can't remember things I'm supposed to. I was yelled at a lot when I was younger because I was constantly "forgetting" things, and apparently that wasn't a good enough excuse. But, honestly that was the truth. I forget things all the time. I lose words, names, dates, and time sequences. I can't remember who all was with me or who said what. My past is constantly fading from my memory, and some memories I do have either don't make sense or didn't happen according to my parents. It gets worse during school times because I'm always having to remember things for classes and homework etc, so other things slip out faster. I tend to have a "day limit". I can remember in detail things that happened up to 7 days after they happen, but I have to wait a couple days before I can remember time sequencing. It's weird but it's life. I've always wanted for my memory of something that happened to be crucial, because it would cancel out all the things I've forgotten. Happy Ending- Writing in journals helps keep things straight, and being in class helps too because it gives schedule to my life. I've been trying to take pictures more because it helps bring memories back easier. Since the whole empath thing started I can now focus on putting emotions to my memories to make it easier as well. Focus on what I'm good at remembering, such as other people's quirks, emotions, facts, etc. I'm also great at memorizing things.
4. Be less self-conscious- I've been self-conscious and had social anxiety since I was 6. I have many memories associated with this that were just unnecessary. I want to not have to worry about how I look to other people and how other people think of me. I want to just do something for me and not care. Less inhibited life style. Do something I would never do and not think twice because "I'll look stupid". Say what I think. Have an opinion. It really hurts when someone asks you what the craziest thing you have ever done was and you don't have one to give them. Happy Ending- I'm working on this. I've gotten so much better than I used to be about saying what I think. I'm even so much better at public speaking, to the point where I would almost rather give a speech than write a paper. How scary is that? I've also started doing things out of my character to try and help this along. I'm writing this blog for one. I've had several private blogs, but a public one is a different story. I'm also going to try and sing on the worship team. Maybe that will help me get used to being on stage so Interpreting won't be as hard.
This is what I've got so far. Hopefully more to come.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
How do emotions feel?
I thought that this would be as good a place as any to document how each emotion feels to me/how I distinguish them. (Side note: writing this post makes me feel excited for some reason, even though it's not that exciting, to me it's commonplace. So maybe this post is meant more for somebody to identify with, than for my benefit.)
First some thoughts on why I feel certain emotions certain ways. There are those people who hide their emotions very well. They do it very often and are always wearing a mask. Because I'm so trusting, I believe the mask all the time. But, sometimes I see a chink in their mask. I've seen things behind their eyes that they won't explain. I'm a pretty good lie detector, but I'm too trusting of other people and what they say and too doubtful of myself to believe my own gut feelings. There are times when these people are so strong for so long they break, or they lose focus for a second. A second is long enough for an emotion to break through to me. Sometimes they don't even realize it until I say something. Or, the emotion they give off is much stronger than they realized. People who feel emotions like I do feel things much stronger than normal people. I'm affected by television and movies way more in depth than anybody I know. (If anybody remembers the show "That's so Raven", I couldn't watch this when I was younger because I would feel embarrassed for them. I was 10 when it aired, so I should have found it amusing. Every situation they put themselves in would make me very uncomfortable. I would also feel pain when watching reality ER and surgical shows.) Memories tend to carry strong emotions with them, so even my memories of feeling emotions have the feelings attached with them. The longer it's been since I've felt it, the less I am affected. The emotions we try to hide are always the bad ones. They tend to bottle up and get stronger as they "age". The pleasant emotions we tend to share, or at least don't mind sharing with others. These come to me all the time, but they aren't usually very strong. Except for the couple of times where I felt so excited I was literally bouncing and shaking, trying to contain myself and it was difficult. There have been plenty of occasions where I felt like I wasn't in control of what I was doing or saying, which is one of my biggest fears. Excitement is one of them lol. Anyways...There are other people who show emotion all the time. I don't get much from these people, leading me to believe that the reason I feel emotions is to be someone who understands what they are going through, because I can actually feel what they are experiencing. The only frustrating part is when they won't tell me why lol. It's fine that they don't. It's personal. I get it. I'm the one invading on their emotions, not the other way around. I would just appreciate to know what emotion I'm getting if I've never felt it before, and why would be nice ;) Ok enough rambling, now to the actual emotions:
Energy- This is very broad and general and is attached with each emotion. With intense emotions it feels like I have energy running down my arm. I have to shake it out for it to go away. (some of my friends find this amusing; I do too lol. I've also used it as a way to let them know that I'm personally ok, good in a pinch when unable to communicate, for example during class). Only issue with this is that it can last a very long time. Even more extended than the emotion lasts. Longest has lasted several hours.
Joy and happiness- These are simple, self-explanatory. I feel light and good. These aren't as strong, but definitely more pleasant.
Depression- I've felt this myself before so it mostly just feels the way I normally would feel it. Like there's a hole where your heart used to be. Almost like you can stick your hand through your chest and feel the empty space.
Sadness- This one is interesting. For me it's more like a "someone is crying or wants to cry detector". Basically I feel like I could cry on command for no reason. Or I feel like I have to yawn a lot, and when I do I tear up then feel like I'm about to burst into tears. This is great when you're in class lol.
Anxiety- I've had anxiety since I was six. So, I know what anxiety feels like to me. Until last year I never had any actual physical symptoms, other than the usual shortness of breath, embarrassment, and the internal freak out that follows. Now when someone else is nervous I feel shaky and my heart pounds. It feels like it's racing even though when I check it (yes it makes me look like a compulsive heart rate checker) it's not even over 80.
Tension or Awkwardness- Totally feels like something is heavy in the air. It's more of an outward feeling than an inward feeling. If I walk into a room and the people I go up to were just having a difficult or heated conversation, I feel like it's hanging there like a cloud made of static.
Anger- this emotion feels hot. Like a hot bolt of energy. Most of the emotions above I can keep pretty hidden, I mean aside from the shaking, sometimes I don't have a choice in that matter. Anger is one that I can't keep from showing. It comes on so fast I can't stop from expressing the shock.
Hate- this one is tricky for me. I don't personally have anybody in my life that I have ever truly hated. I have so much compassion for people that I can't hate them, but I can strongly dislike their personality. I do have to say that hate is an awful feeling that eats at you. Somewhat like acid in the pit of your stomach.
Physical pain- This one is also interesting. I can get nausea really easy from certain people. The worst though is actual pain. To me it's like bone pain. I feel it deep inside like it's on my bone. I can usually handle pain really well. Heck, I have two tattoos which when getting them were not terrible. (Except for the touch up of my first. Hurt worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life. Probably because it was digging into not only a physical nerve, but also an emotional one.) When I was younger I would watch medical tv all the time, mostly because it's one of my mom's favorite genres. I remember seeing a surgery or emergency patient with a wound of some kind, and I would have bone pain in a similar location.
*This post is a work in progress. I would appreciate any comments related to what I've written so far, and also any new emotions you would like for me to give a crack at explaining, or experiencing if you are feeling emotional :P jk
First some thoughts on why I feel certain emotions certain ways. There are those people who hide their emotions very well. They do it very often and are always wearing a mask. Because I'm so trusting, I believe the mask all the time. But, sometimes I see a chink in their mask. I've seen things behind their eyes that they won't explain. I'm a pretty good lie detector, but I'm too trusting of other people and what they say and too doubtful of myself to believe my own gut feelings. There are times when these people are so strong for so long they break, or they lose focus for a second. A second is long enough for an emotion to break through to me. Sometimes they don't even realize it until I say something. Or, the emotion they give off is much stronger than they realized. People who feel emotions like I do feel things much stronger than normal people. I'm affected by television and movies way more in depth than anybody I know. (If anybody remembers the show "That's so Raven", I couldn't watch this when I was younger because I would feel embarrassed for them. I was 10 when it aired, so I should have found it amusing. Every situation they put themselves in would make me very uncomfortable. I would also feel pain when watching reality ER and surgical shows.) Memories tend to carry strong emotions with them, so even my memories of feeling emotions have the feelings attached with them. The longer it's been since I've felt it, the less I am affected. The emotions we try to hide are always the bad ones. They tend to bottle up and get stronger as they "age". The pleasant emotions we tend to share, or at least don't mind sharing with others. These come to me all the time, but they aren't usually very strong. Except for the couple of times where I felt so excited I was literally bouncing and shaking, trying to contain myself and it was difficult. There have been plenty of occasions where I felt like I wasn't in control of what I was doing or saying, which is one of my biggest fears. Excitement is one of them lol. Anyways...There are other people who show emotion all the time. I don't get much from these people, leading me to believe that the reason I feel emotions is to be someone who understands what they are going through, because I can actually feel what they are experiencing. The only frustrating part is when they won't tell me why lol. It's fine that they don't. It's personal. I get it. I'm the one invading on their emotions, not the other way around. I would just appreciate to know what emotion I'm getting if I've never felt it before, and why would be nice ;) Ok enough rambling, now to the actual emotions:
Energy- This is very broad and general and is attached with each emotion. With intense emotions it feels like I have energy running down my arm. I have to shake it out for it to go away. (some of my friends find this amusing; I do too lol. I've also used it as a way to let them know that I'm personally ok, good in a pinch when unable to communicate, for example during class). Only issue with this is that it can last a very long time. Even more extended than the emotion lasts. Longest has lasted several hours.
Joy and happiness- These are simple, self-explanatory. I feel light and good. These aren't as strong, but definitely more pleasant.
Depression- I've felt this myself before so it mostly just feels the way I normally would feel it. Like there's a hole where your heart used to be. Almost like you can stick your hand through your chest and feel the empty space.
Sadness- This one is interesting. For me it's more like a "someone is crying or wants to cry detector". Basically I feel like I could cry on command for no reason. Or I feel like I have to yawn a lot, and when I do I tear up then feel like I'm about to burst into tears. This is great when you're in class lol.
Anxiety- I've had anxiety since I was six. So, I know what anxiety feels like to me. Until last year I never had any actual physical symptoms, other than the usual shortness of breath, embarrassment, and the internal freak out that follows. Now when someone else is nervous I feel shaky and my heart pounds. It feels like it's racing even though when I check it (yes it makes me look like a compulsive heart rate checker) it's not even over 80.
Tension or Awkwardness- Totally feels like something is heavy in the air. It's more of an outward feeling than an inward feeling. If I walk into a room and the people I go up to were just having a difficult or heated conversation, I feel like it's hanging there like a cloud made of static.
Anger- this emotion feels hot. Like a hot bolt of energy. Most of the emotions above I can keep pretty hidden, I mean aside from the shaking, sometimes I don't have a choice in that matter. Anger is one that I can't keep from showing. It comes on so fast I can't stop from expressing the shock.
Hate- this one is tricky for me. I don't personally have anybody in my life that I have ever truly hated. I have so much compassion for people that I can't hate them, but I can strongly dislike their personality. I do have to say that hate is an awful feeling that eats at you. Somewhat like acid in the pit of your stomach.
Physical pain- This one is also interesting. I can get nausea really easy from certain people. The worst though is actual pain. To me it's like bone pain. I feel it deep inside like it's on my bone. I can usually handle pain really well. Heck, I have two tattoos which when getting them were not terrible. (Except for the touch up of my first. Hurt worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life. Probably because it was digging into not only a physical nerve, but also an emotional one.) When I was younger I would watch medical tv all the time, mostly because it's one of my mom's favorite genres. I remember seeing a surgery or emergency patient with a wound of some kind, and I would have bone pain in a similar location.
*This post is a work in progress. I would appreciate any comments related to what I've written so far, and also any new emotions you would like for me to give a crack at explaining, or experiencing if you are feeling emotional :P jk
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Does this make sense to you?
This is probably going to sound like I'm rambling but Oh well lol
Sometimes I think I make more sense when I don't make any sense at all.
Last night I was thinking about life and things when I had a revelation.
There's feeling feelings and there's feeling feelings, but when your feeling feelings and feeling feelings, it feels like you're exploding. Makes perfect sense to me. Does it to you?
Ok Let me see if I can explain this lol
"There's feeling feelings" - as in feeling your own emotions
"and there's feeling feelings" - as in feeling other people's emotions
"but when . . . exploding" - as in feeling your emotions and other people's emotions at the same time you feel like you're going to explode. Sometimes when that happens all you can do is cry. The weirdest part though is that when you do cry it cycles back and forth. You may start crying because of their emotions, then stop, then cry for yours, then stop, then theirs etc.
(may add more to this later)
Sometimes I think I make more sense when I don't make any sense at all.
Last night I was thinking about life and things when I had a revelation.
There's feeling feelings and there's feeling feelings, but when your feeling feelings and feeling feelings, it feels like you're exploding. Makes perfect sense to me. Does it to you?
Ok Let me see if I can explain this lol
"There's feeling feelings" - as in feeling your own emotions
"and there's feeling feelings" - as in feeling other people's emotions
"but when . . . exploding" - as in feeling your emotions and other people's emotions at the same time you feel like you're going to explode. Sometimes when that happens all you can do is cry. The weirdest part though is that when you do cry it cycles back and forth. You may start crying because of their emotions, then stop, then cry for yours, then stop, then theirs etc.
(may add more to this later)
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Personality Test
Personality tests are a part of normal general psych courses, and since my first psych class almost four years ago, I've taken many of these tests. Mostly they say the same thing. Here is a link to the most recent one I took: Socionics.com.
This personality test breaks a person's personality down into 4 pairs of conflicting aspects in a personality. Each person will identify with one of each pair.
The first pair is Extrovert vs. Introvert: Extroverted people are interested in what is happening around them, are open and often talkative, compare their own opinions with the opinions of others, like action and initiative, easily make new friends or adapt to a new group, say what they think, are interested in new people, and easily break unwanted relations. Introverted people are interested in their own thoughts and feelings, need to have own territory, often appear reserved, quiet and thoughtful, usually do not have many friends, have difficulties in making new contacts, like concentration and quiet, do not like unexpected visits and therefore do not make them, and work well alone.
The second pair is Sensing vs. INtuitive: Sensing people see everyone and sense everything, live in the here and now, quickly adapt to any situation, like pleasures based on physical sensation, are practical and active, and are realistic and self-confident. Intuitive people are mostly in the past or in the future, worry about the future more than the present, are interested in everything new and unusual, do not like routine, are attracted more to the theory than the practice, and often have doubts.
The third pair is Thinking vs. Feeling: Thinking people are interested in systems, structures, patterns, expose everything to logical analysis, are relatively cold and unemotional, evaluate things by intellect and right or wrong, have difficulties talking about feelings, and do not like to clear up arguments or quarrels. Feeling people are interested in people and their feelings, easily pass their own moods to others, pay great attention to love and passion, evaluate things by ethics and good or bad, can be touchy or use emotional manipulation, and often give compliments to please people.
The fourth pair is Perceiving vs. Judging: Perceiving people act impulsively following the situation, can start many things at once without finishing them properly, prefer to have freedom from obligations, are curious and like a fresh look at things, work productivity depends on their mood, and often act without any preparation. Judging people do not like to leave unanswered questions, plan work ahead and tend to finish it, do not like to change their decisions, have relatively stable work-ability, and easily follow rules and discipline.
Now with these in mind after taking the test my results were INFJ. This personality type is labeled "The Empath", how ironic! lol. Now to look at the explanation: (My comments are in parentheses and in bold)
"INFJs have a very characteristic dispassionate facial expression. (OMG so me. I'm always getting picked on for not having enough facials) This is often reminiscent of the depiction of saints and martyrs from early Christian icons. Their faces convey the feeling that their soul is suffering even when it is not.(Interesting) INFjs faces are often perfect ovals but can be rectangular in shape as well. Their noses are usually straight and slightly elongated, but not prominent.
INFjs do not show intense positive emotions, instead they simply smile. (Been told this by many people that I do this) All their facial expressions openly reproach nefarious happenings. The same can be noticed in their intonation. In many cases INFjs have a slim, ascetic figure. Their movements are often quite harsh although not lacking mobility. INFjs with more fuller figures are less mobile and active. When walking, INFjs may keep their feet close and parallel to the ground, maintaining a short distance between each step. (Not very specific but whatever).
INFjs are generally very modest, which is also noticeable in their choice of clothes. (Very True) However from time to time they may wear something very flashy according to the latest fashion especially is noticeable in males. INFjs prefer to observe people for sometime before making contact in order to identify social hierarchy in a group.(Definitely true. I do this all the time, sometimes without thinking about it) Normally INFjs do not show initiative when making contact for the first time. (I'm sure my friends will agree with this one lol)
INFjs can be very touchy and this may strain the easy atmosphere of a conversation.(I don't know that I'm touchy per se but I can definitely sense awkwardness straining on conversations) Sometimes they adopt a monotone speech pattern that can snuff out all playfulness in others.(I've heard that I can get a serious bite when I mean business) INFjs have a special ability to listen to people and as a result they are often asked for advice or sympathy.(AMEN) They never push people away and are always prepared to listen for as long as it takes to make others feel better, even if they theoretically have better things to do.(Absolutely True! I go out of my way all the time for people without any expectations of reciprocation) INFjs are always ready to help friends in difficult life situations. They care not with words but with real actions.(I try to do both, because I know how words impact people)
INFjs do not really make good cheats or frauds. This however, does not stop them from trying sometimes. And even if they do, they are likely to feel pretty bad about themselves afterwards.(Hahaha true. I would make an awful cheat and I am such a bad liar) This gives INFjs a reputation as naive and impractical people. INFjs are very conscientious in their work . They do everything carefully, paying great attention to the quality of their labour. INFjs demand cleanliness and order. At home they tend to keep everything tidy, carefully storing their belonging, especially females INFjs.(Will be more true in the future when I have more space to organize) They like a calm and measured style of life and therefore try to prepare and anticipate everything beforehand, often making them quite reliable.(I find this to be accurate)
INFjs know how to establish peace between conflicting sides. They take a neutral position in the conflict, often being fired upon from both sides.(Found myself in this position one too many times) They rarely push, shout or show aggressiveness.(Accurate) Instead they punish offenders by completely ignoring them until they realise their mistakes and apologise.(Not true, I'm too nice for that) INFjs do not like to project themselves: when everybody works, they work too, when everybody rests, they rest too.(Never thought about it before but yeah makes sense) INFjs often cannot stand violence, conflict and graphic depiction of injuries.(True to a point. Conflict-absolutely can't stand. Violence-depends on how violent or what kind. Graphic images or gore-depends on severity. I remember being young and watching gore on TV and feeling pain that mirrored the location of the wounds. But I can handle blood.)"
Well this was a long post, but I think it was definitely interesting, to me at least lol :)
If you decide to take the test, leave a comment with what you get if you'd like! I'd love to see what you think about your results!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Medic of the Soul
So, I'm a SoulMedic on RemedyLive. RemedyLive is a christian web radio station with a chat room. In the chat visitors that we call "chatters" can participate in a group chat or if they would like a one-on-one they can private chat a SoulMedic for help. We also have it set-up that the chatters can text-to-chat or text-to-remedy.
I started this job because when I was going through a lot in my life there weren't many people that I could talk to. Some people knew some things and others knew other things, but there wasn't anybody that I had told everything. If there had been somebody that I had talked to a lot of things probably wouldn't have happened. I'm thankful now that I have friends I can talk to about things, but there are many more who are like I was that need the accountability and the motivation to get help. That's why I wanted to get involved. But do I really do this for them? or do I still do this for me?
I really do care for people. I try to help them talk through their problems, even if there's no way I can help fix them. They can at least know that somebody else cares how they are doing. I have my regulars who I talk to often and then there are those who pass through that I get to know.
At the same time, I need the social interaction. At school I spend more time with people than I do by myself. I'm always in class or with my friends or a roommate. Now at home, I'm by myself way more than I'm with people. So, sometimes I just need the conversations in order to keep me sane.
Even though the chatters face a lot of problems like self injury, eating disorders, abuse, suicidal thoughts, anxiety disorders, and health issues, it doesn't wear me out because any conversations I have are treasured.
I started this job because when I was going through a lot in my life there weren't many people that I could talk to. Some people knew some things and others knew other things, but there wasn't anybody that I had told everything. If there had been somebody that I had talked to a lot of things probably wouldn't have happened. I'm thankful now that I have friends I can talk to about things, but there are many more who are like I was that need the accountability and the motivation to get help. That's why I wanted to get involved. But do I really do this for them? or do I still do this for me?
I really do care for people. I try to help them talk through their problems, even if there's no way I can help fix them. They can at least know that somebody else cares how they are doing. I have my regulars who I talk to often and then there are those who pass through that I get to know.
At the same time, I need the social interaction. At school I spend more time with people than I do by myself. I'm always in class or with my friends or a roommate. Now at home, I'm by myself way more than I'm with people. So, sometimes I just need the conversations in order to keep me sane.
Even though the chatters face a lot of problems like self injury, eating disorders, abuse, suicidal thoughts, anxiety disorders, and health issues, it doesn't wear me out because any conversations I have are treasured.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Great Movies that I Can't Watch...
There are certain things I can't do anymore. Certain movies I can't watch, certain TV shows I can't watch, certain songs I can't listen too. The emotions behind these things get to me, and most of the time I can't subject myself to that kind of torture. You see I have this thing about death, meaning most of these movies have somebody die in them. So here I will be compiling a list of movies I can't watch unless you really want to see me cry lol. So if you do want to see me cry, which I doubt you do since many people have told me they hate seeing me cry because I make them feel helpless, we should watch one of these movies. Some of which I own, ironically lol.
- My Life- had to watch this in high school, oh my gosh that was torture.
-Titanic- I probably wouldn't watch this movie again. Not because it was sad, which it is, but because it's long.
- My Life- had to watch this in high school, oh my gosh that was torture.
-Titanic- I probably wouldn't watch this movie again. Not because it was sad, which it is, but because it's long.
-Beaches-Good movie, sad ending.
-A Walk to Remember-Oh Nicholas Sparks, how you make sad movies well.
-The Notebook- same as above
-Dear John- same as above
-Artificial Intelligence- not exactly sad, but it's definitely not happy
-Pay it Forward- Yeah not a good ending
-Steel Magnolias-This one is tolerable, but only because it has comic relief.
-Helen-Can never watch again, way too depressing
-Little Women-Manageable, but I even cried reading the book in the 5th grade, so not advised.
-The Boy in the Striped Pajamas- Great movie, but not unlike all other Holocaust movies.
-Finding Neverland-I could probably watch this again, but it has definitely been a while.
-P.S. I Love You-DO NOT LET ME WATCH EVER! I watched this one time and I cried the entire time, and this is before the whole emotion thing. So, under any circumstances, do not let me watch this movie.
More of this list will come later as I go. :)
-A Walk to Remember-Oh Nicholas Sparks, how you make sad movies well.
-The Notebook- same as above
-Dear John- same as above
-Artificial Intelligence- not exactly sad, but it's definitely not happy
-Pay it Forward- Yeah not a good ending
-Steel Magnolias-This one is tolerable, but only because it has comic relief.
-Helen-Can never watch again, way too depressing
-Little Women-Manageable, but I even cried reading the book in the 5th grade, so not advised.
-The Boy in the Striped Pajamas- Great movie, but not unlike all other Holocaust movies.
-Finding Neverland-I could probably watch this again, but it has definitely been a while.
-P.S. I Love You-DO NOT LET ME WATCH EVER! I watched this one time and I cried the entire time, and this is before the whole emotion thing. So, under any circumstances, do not let me watch this movie.
More of this list will come later as I go. :)
Life Lessons I Learned from Disney
Here I am going to compile a list of life lessons I think that all of us can learn from the Disney movies of our childhood:
1. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs-
-True love will find you, even if you are lying in a glass coffin seemingly dead.
-Don't take candy from strangers.
-You don't need to sing well to attract a lover's attention.
2. Pinocchio-
-Listen to your conscience. Sometimes it knows better than you do.
-If you don't listen to your conscience, you may end up looking like an "ass".
-Once you learn this you will become a real person and not hollow or shallow.
3. Dumbo-
-Don't let other people set limits for you, because you can exceed their expectations.
-Any differences that you have from other people are there for a reason. Differences are what make you shine.
-Learn to use your differences to your advantage.
4. Bambi-
-The world is dangerous, and the biggest hurts can be done by people.
-The world doesn't stop when you lose a loved one.
-In the end, despite the hardships you face, life goes on and things will work out the way they are supposed to.
5. Cinderella-
-There is still hope even when it feels like there is nobody on your side.
-Life may be rough, but the ending can be a happily-ever-after kind of ending.
-Your background doesn't make a difference in what possibilities your future can take.
6. Alice in Wonderland-
-Daydreaming can be a good thing, and you may learn something about yourself in the process.
-Be flexible in changes, such as growing or shrinking, and also flexible in time, you are not always late when you are on time.
-On the other hand, don't kill time. Time is important in life and vital when planning.
7. Peter Pan-
-It is not necessary to grow up faster than you have to, or before you are ready.
-You can fly through life when you think happy thoughts.
-Jealousy doesn't get you anywhere.
8. Sleeping Beauty-
-No matter how hard you try to hide, bad things can still happen to you, so be prepared.
-Don't lose hope, someone will fight for you when you need it.
-Over-protection doesn't always work out in the end.
9. Mary Poppins-
-Things go much faster when you look for the joy in doing them.
-When Bad things happen look for the bright side.
-The little things are important, including a couple of pennies or flying a kite.
10. Pete's Dragon-
-Everybody has a home that they belong in, you just have to find the right one.
-Other people may try to use you, but you need to realize what their intentions are so you can stop it.
-Don't let other people's unbelief get you down. They will believe you eventually, and sometimes experiencing with you helps.
1. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs-
-True love will find you, even if you are lying in a glass coffin seemingly dead.
-Don't take candy from strangers.
-You don't need to sing well to attract a lover's attention.
2. Pinocchio-
-Listen to your conscience. Sometimes it knows better than you do.
-If you don't listen to your conscience, you may end up looking like an "ass".
-Once you learn this you will become a real person and not hollow or shallow.
3. Dumbo-
-Don't let other people set limits for you, because you can exceed their expectations.
-Any differences that you have from other people are there for a reason. Differences are what make you shine.
-Learn to use your differences to your advantage.
4. Bambi-
-The world is dangerous, and the biggest hurts can be done by people.
-The world doesn't stop when you lose a loved one.
-In the end, despite the hardships you face, life goes on and things will work out the way they are supposed to.
5. Cinderella-
-There is still hope even when it feels like there is nobody on your side.
-Life may be rough, but the ending can be a happily-ever-after kind of ending.
-Your background doesn't make a difference in what possibilities your future can take.
6. Alice in Wonderland-
-Daydreaming can be a good thing, and you may learn something about yourself in the process.
-Be flexible in changes, such as growing or shrinking, and also flexible in time, you are not always late when you are on time.
-On the other hand, don't kill time. Time is important in life and vital when planning.
7. Peter Pan-
-It is not necessary to grow up faster than you have to, or before you are ready.
-You can fly through life when you think happy thoughts.
-Jealousy doesn't get you anywhere.
8. Sleeping Beauty-
-No matter how hard you try to hide, bad things can still happen to you, so be prepared.
-Don't lose hope, someone will fight for you when you need it.
-Over-protection doesn't always work out in the end.
9. Mary Poppins-
-Things go much faster when you look for the joy in doing them.
-When Bad things happen look for the bright side.
-The little things are important, including a couple of pennies or flying a kite.
10. Pete's Dragon-
-Everybody has a home that they belong in, you just have to find the right one.
-Other people may try to use you, but you need to realize what their intentions are so you can stop it.
-Don't let other people's unbelief get you down. They will believe you eventually, and sometimes experiencing with you helps.
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