Bucket List...well sort of

Hmm...thinking...thinking...thinking...seems to be all I do at the moment.
So today my thoughts were about things that I've always wanted to accomplish but feel like I never will, or something along those lines. And, then I thought I would share them on the blog for kicks and giggles. To keep this on a positive note, I'm going to include a way I can achieve each item in the future. I'm going to call these positive notes "happy endings".

1. Write a Book- I've always wanted to write a book. For as long as I can remember I've been an avid reader, but I've never considered myself a good writer. I used to try to keep journals, thinking that someday I would put them in a book. I also started and stopped writing many fiction novels. Sometimes I feel like my life is so ridiculous it should be a book lol. I would love to eventually have a book, doesn't even have to be published, but I highly doubt this will ever happen. Happy Ending- Well this blog is a good step in the right direction. But, I'll try to continue progress on my writing in my computer documents. After a while, I'm sure that I'll have enough to consider it a "book". Also I'll try this year to get involved in NaNoWriMo or "National Novel Writing Month".

2. Be coordinated- This is one that I'm sure is not going to happen, but a girl can dream. I hated being the one in school gym classes who couldn't do any of the sports or even not be a klutz. I have a lot of bad memories that are caused by my not being coordinated, including several falls, one being head-first down a flight of stairs in front of a portion of the student body. Memories also include times when I didn't participate in things because I didn't feel like I could or wouldn't let myself do things. Happy Ending- Focus on the things I can do. I'm pretty good at Dance Dance Revolution, although I'm quite rusty. I can roller skate which seems completely out of place. Most people who are coordinated can't roller skate. I've also always wanted and probably could play softball. Maybe someday, I'll join the church team.

3. Have my memory pay off- One thing people know about me either because they've noticed or heard me complain about is my lame memory. I can remember stupid things that are unimportant, but can't remember things I'm supposed to. I was yelled at a lot when I was younger because I was constantly "forgetting" things, and apparently that wasn't a good enough excuse. But, honestly that was the truth. I forget things all the time.  I lose words, names, dates, and time sequences. I can't remember who all was with me or who said what. My past is constantly fading from my memory, and some memories I do have either don't make sense or didn't happen according to my parents. It gets worse during school times because I'm always having to remember things for classes and homework etc, so other things slip out faster. I tend to have a "day limit". I can remember in detail things that happened up to 7 days after they happen, but I have to wait a couple days before I can remember time sequencing. It's weird but it's life. I've always wanted for my memory of something that happened to be crucial, because it would cancel out all the things I've forgotten. Happy Ending- Writing in journals helps keep things straight, and being in class helps too because it gives schedule to my life. I've been trying to take pictures more because it helps bring memories back easier. Since the whole empath thing started I can now focus on putting emotions to my memories to make it easier as well. Focus on what I'm good at remembering, such as other people's quirks, emotions, facts, etc. I'm also great at memorizing things.

4. Be less self-conscious- I've been self-conscious and had social anxiety since I was 6. I have many memories associated with this that were just unnecessary. I want to not have to worry about how I look to other people and how other people think of me. I want to just do something for me and not care. Less inhibited life style. Do something I would never do and not think twice because "I'll look stupid". Say what I think. Have an opinion. It really hurts when someone asks you what the craziest thing you have ever done was and you don't have one to give them. Happy Ending- I'm working on this. I've gotten so much better than I used to be about saying what I think. I'm even so much better at public speaking, to the point where I would almost rather give a speech than write a paper. How scary is that? I've also started doing things out of my character to try and help this along. I'm writing this blog for one. I've had several private blogs, but a public one is a different story. I'm also going to try and sing on the worship team. Maybe that will help me get used to being on stage so Interpreting won't be as hard.

This is what I've got so far. Hopefully more to come.